I had a radio station for all my collabs but there was a glitch and i'm unable to recreate it. So, here is list of my collabs. (Anything not listed is already in my jamroom.)
I am on the EPILEPTIC GIBBON PODCAST MUSIC SHOW, for tonight's special Halloween edition! I am very excited! I've already listened to it and it's a fantastic, energetic and very FUN show, despite the inclusion of my rather grim song, From a Coffin.
This is Episode 19 of Eppy's podcast and it's called: The Girl Who Was Death
I know people go through stages but i can tell, i can just tell that it's never coming back. This well is dry. There won't be any more music from me.
I guess that's good news for anyone who felt obligated to listen to it before. But it's bad news for me. I don't have much else to do that is meaningful.
It's such a privilege to me to have sung backing vocals on the latest Me and Boris the Bull song, A Band-Mate of Years.
It's a beautiful expression of deep pain and such a powerful song.
I feel honored to be part of it, even though it doesn't need my backing vocals at all. It's a beautiful song. And i get to have it on my radio station of collaborations i've done! Woohoo!
(That's the one called Songalong, which can be found somewhere here on my MacIDOL site...)
I feel so happy and charmed to have done a song with Frogmorton (aka Matt Duane Griffin).
The song is Turn Away, Yesterday.
It's been a good experience for me to be part of this song, with someone i admire so much.
I am surprised and happy with how this turned out, as it is such an old song and i am never usually happy with how those turn out.
The structure is exactly the same. The only difference is in the instruments i used and a few of the lyrics.
But it was always "Isabella, i've found....," etc, and "there's a way through..., etc."
First, she is in a shambles and ruined, and stuck.
Then she is called.
She travels under the earth.
One thing i never really knew is what she would find there. I did see lava and hotness but didn't realize its full importance and that she would be melting in it.
She is cleansed and completely free of herself, dissolved. She is pure.
It is so good to finally understand and yet, the song is truly as it always has been. It is so hard to explain. It feels realized, though. To me.
Sorry, something always seems to happen and i won't hear it until it's been uploaded for some time.
I remixed both Briar Roses and O. Mainly, i adjusted the volumes of the vocals and tried to make things a bit smoother. I tried to bring out some of the instruments more in O, too, but it still sounds too muddled, although i am at least slightly happier with it.
I also resang and remixed Charming a while back but not too long ago. I took the key down one. The recording that i first put up i didn't care for at all and i am not sure why i even put it up. The song itself has special meaning for me and was written when i was very young but can't seem to capture the feeling of it. I think the new version is better but i still am not happy with it. The one i put up before, though, was really almost stabbing to the ears in some places, certain instruments and i was stretching my voice. When i wrote the song i had a higher range but as i am getting older it's not quite the same. I can sing the high notes in some ways but not in others... if that makes any sense. My voice doesnt' seem to be as flexible as it used to be. Or something.
Over the Sea has not only been extended but after posting the longer version, i played with the AU equalizer in GB and brought the drums back out. Something happened to them between the versions where they sort of got muffled and those aren't the sort of drums that i want to be muffled. So, i hope this version is better. It sounds better to my ears.
Lastly, (for now) i tried to fix Going to the Garden. I always wanted the bass to be loud and kind of oppressing but i hadn't intended it to have that ridiculous amount of distortion. So i took the volume of that down a bit. I hope it sounds better now.
I have to finish sending out my packages. I have to get things clean and in order. Things must be resolved. I have put things off for too long and it is all weighing so heavily on me.
I am going to finish preparing the packages, i'll have them sent out. I am going to clean everything. I am going to have a bath, too. Once everything is clean and i am clean, i'll be ready for it all. I don't know how to explain it all but i must be prepared for the night and all that is to come. Something very magical is going to happen.
I apologize and am very sorry for being so annoying. I'd post this in the forum but i was thinking that might be too annoying.
I don't know what to do.
26 Jan 2006 07:39 PM
This song is not about a premature burial or being buried alive. It is about being dead in a coffin but being aware of being dead and buried and trapped in the coffin.
It is my attempt to try to express something that i'm not sure can be expressed: a very bad episode of derealization that i had a few years ago. It was most intense for about five days and then began to decrease and now it's sort of dormant. But it's never completely gone, it is always kind of looming there, and i am so afraid it will come back. I couldn't take going through that again. When i was in the midst of it i couldn't explain to anyone what was going on. There was no way. A terrible feeling, all i can say is that it's an isolating feeling, like i am not in the world but i see it right there, right there, and can't get in. And it's very physical as well as psychological. It's the most scary thing i have ever experienced, a nightmare that i couldn't wake up from. Even now, i often feel like my own body is a coffin, and i just want to be free.
However, this is not the experience itself but a song and so blah blah blah....
The song is meant to sound slightly dissonant. I experimented a lot with my voice, it is really different and strange sounding here.
It bothers me because i think i sound like i'm imitating Kate Bush (a heroine of mine) but i wasn't actually imitating her, what i was doing was trying to sound corpse-like. But she is a great influence on me, so it makes sense. And i'm also sorta stoked that i hear her in my voice now.
The notes hit the worst place in my throat, too, that yawny area, but i didn't feel like i could change the key too much as the high parts would be pushed higher and i can't sing as high anymore.
I wrote the music for this a way-long time ago, and the words i put together this month. I never was sure what it was about until recently. Part of the melody sounds so familiar to me that i am almost afraid it's another song, but maybe that is because i wrote it so long ago.
Notes on the lyrics:
"My love"
Not necessarily a lover, but could be. All those i love, or any one of them. Life, even.
"I'm longing for the world that i love"
Mourning for the world's beauty that i am not part of.
"I can't forget, i can't let go"
Because i am aware, if i weren't i would be better off.
"Feel it soften"
Need softness, ease, i am like metal that hurts, i want soft comfort.
"to feel the earth," "birth of Spring"
Want to really feel these things, really be part of them, it hurts not being able.
"Of ascent"
Not "a scent." I want to ascend and be free in the sky.
"I ache for your skin"
Not sexual. I want to feel your warmth. I want to be with you. I want to be part of you and part of life. I ache to have my own living skin.
"I need to breathe"
From one of the days in the peak of the derealization, when i tried, literally, to shake it out of myself. If someone had seen me, i don't know what they'd have thought. But it occurred to me that i might be able to scream and shake it out of my body, so i ran about, shaking my whole body and screaming. It didn't work.
"rest"
If i can't be free, let me not be aware at all, let me rest in peace.
The music was written a long time ago, in the late eighties. I had different ideas but was never sure what it was really about.
I am trying to express something that can never be expressed.
(This is from 26 Jan 2006 07:39 PM)
All drums are loops, as usual (and there are lots of different drums in this song). The software instruments were all played on my keyboard.
Track One - Loop
Shaker: La Marca Cabasa 02
Track Two - Software Instrument
Guitars: 12 String Chords
'Twas tweaked, with audio settings in Track Info
Tracks Three & Four - Loop
Drum Kit: Southern Beat 02
Track Five - Loop
Drum Kit: Trip Hop Underwater Beat
Sliced and diced and tweaked
Track Six - Software Instrument
Guitars: 12 String Acoustic
Tweaked with audio settings
Track Seven - Software Instrument
Guitars: 12 String Acoustic
Tweaked with audio settings
Track Eight - Software Instrument
Synths: Cloud Break
Track Nine - Loop
Drum Kit: Skiffle Drumset 03
Tweaked almost beyond recognition
Track Ten - Software Instrument
Guitars: Twangy Strumming
Tweaked with audio settings
Track Eleven - Loop
Drum Kit: Motown Upbeat Fill 15
Tweaked and chopped into bits
Track Twelve - Loop
Drum Kit: Bar Band Basic 05
NOT Tweaked! Wow.
Tracks Thirteen, Fourteen, Fifteen - Real
Vocals: Male Rock Vocals, reset track echo to Rockabilly, lowered echo time on two tracks, left it as is on third track
Track Sixteen - Real
Vocals: Ambient
Track Seventeen - Software
Sound Effects - Transition FX
Track Eighteen - Software
Synth Pads - Glassy Ascent
I reversed the "let's go through the looking glass" chorus in Audacity and pasted it in to the last part of the song and also once midway through.
A brief explanation of what tweaking i did, as i am really tired -
For the drum loops, i basically just chopped them up a lot and deleted or moved certain beats. For one of the drum loops, as well as the chord guitars, i used the AUMatrix Reverb and some Rockabilly echo that i toned down manually.
Track 01 - Synth
Software Instrument --> Synth Textures --> Skye Breath
Track 02 - Drums
Loop: Remix Tambora 02 (located in Percussion section of loop browser)
Track 03 - Bass
Software Instrument --> Bass --> Reggae Bass
Track 04 - Synth
Software Instrument --> Strings --> Solace
Track 05 - Guitar
Guitar by Mark Olafsson aka MO
Track 06 - Interference/Static Sound
For this, i just pressed the record button and recorded some white noise. Then i used this effect:
Real Instrument --> Effects --> Celestial Spring
In the second dropdown menu, I changed Flanger to Bitcrusher --> Manual
Panned -16
Track 07 - Vocals
Effect: Real Instrument --> Effects --> Telephone Lines
Changed Equalizer setting to Hi-Fi
Panned -16
Track 08 - Vocals
Effect: Real Instrument --> Vocals --> Ambient Vocals
In first dropdown menu, changed Tremolo setting to Circular Structure
In second dropdown menu, selected Track Echo --> Cycling
Set Equalizer to Hi-Fi
My Dark Side: Track Info
Track 01 - Bell Sound
Software Instrument --> Mallets --> Orchestra Glockenspiel
Panned -16
Track 02 - Synth background
Software Instrument --> Mallets --> Aurora Bell
Generator: Digital Basic --> Glassy Pad 1
Track 03 - Bass
Software Instrument --> Bass --> Latin Baby Bass
Track 04 - Recorder
Software Instrument --> Woodwinds --> Medieval Recorder
Panned -48
Track 05 - Cello (Melody)
Software Instrument --> Strings --> Fitch Cello
Panned +47
Track 06 - Cello (Chords)
Software Instrument --> Strings --> Fitch Cello
Track 07 - Drums
Loop (MIDI) - Jazzy Rock Drums 20
I altered this loop, snipped out a crashy beat or two
Track 08 - Piano
Software Instrument --> Pianos and Keyboards --> Grand Piano
Track 09 - Vocal
My very own setting that i created! I called it "Special Rockabilly"
To create it, i started with
Real Instrument --> Vocals --> Female Rock Vocals
Then, adjusted these settings:
In first dropdown menu, selected "Overdrive" and (clicking on pencil icon) pushed Output Level up to about 3/4.
In second dropdown menu, set Track Echo to "Rockabilly."
Pushed the Echo (below the Equalizer) down to the same position on the slider as is the Reverb.
Panned +43
Track One
Drums
Created loop using my keyboard on a 3/4 (waltz) setting, then running it through the midi into GB and using settings
Software Instruments --> Drums Kits --> Studio Heavy Kit.
From that loop, created several more variations and used these throughout the track.
Track Two
Drums (during lines "I am no George...")
GB Loop, Mitzvah River Drums (i chopped this slightly and varied the volume).
Track Three:
Synth
Software Instrument --> Synth Textures --> Sandoway Ricochet
Track Four
Synth (Intro only)
Software Instrument --> Synth Pads --> Tranquil Horizon
Tracks Five & Six
Synth
Software Instrument --> Synth Pads --> Tranquil Horizon
panned -32, +32
Tracks Seven & Eight
Strings
Software Instrument --> Strings --> Orchestra String Ensemble
panned -32, +32
Track Nine
Piano
Software Instrument --> Pianos and Keyboard --> Grand Piano on Stage
Track Ten
Bass
Software Instrument --> Bass --> Low Rent
Tracks Eleven & Twelve
Vocals (Intro Only)
Real Instrument --> Vocals --> Female Basic
Equalizer set to Reduce "S"
Equalizer set to Hi-Fi
Track Thirteen
Vocal
Real Instrument --> Vocals --> Female Basic
Used Spitfish plug-in to reduce plosive stuff
Equalizer set to Hi-Fi
Tracks Fourteen, Fifteen, Sixteen, Seventeen
Vocals
Real Instrument --> Guitars --> Dreamy Shimmer
panned -48, -32, -48, +48
Track Eighteen
Vocal (Whispered)
Real Instrument --> Effects --> Celestial Spring
Track One:
Played my acoustic guitar into the mic, with settings in GarageBand as follows -
Real Instrument --> Guitars --> Arena Rock
Panned +32
Track Two:
Vocal, with Pop Vocals effect
Panned -32
I did this song one night last Spring, when i was sorta out of it, a bit intoxicated, too. If i can remember, i think i thought i was recording the playing and singing at the same time (which is not possible on mine), and had both the keyboard and microphone hooked up through the USB ports, but only the keyboard got recorded, so i had to sing the vocal again.
Track 1: Piano
Software Instrument --> Pianos and Keyboards --> Orchestra Steinway
Track 2: Vocal
Vocal Effect - Female Rock Vocals with Reverb pushed up more.
I Can't Contain Myself
Tracks 1 & 2 (Piano)
Software - Orchestra Steinway Piano
The same piano track, just copied and pasted to the second track.
Track 1 is centered
Track 2 is panned to -16, Reverb pushed up to 2/3, Echo pushed up very slightly, Equalizer set to "Bass Boost"
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Track 3 (Piano)
Software - Orchestra Steinway Piano
Did the bridge section on a third track, in order to let it blend over at the change.
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Track 4 (Bass)
Software - Muted Electric Bass
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Tracks 5 & 6 (Hazy cymbal "sssshhhh" sound)
Loop, Real - Pop Egyptian Sky Beat 2
Started at track 5 a few beats earlier, started at track 6 later, blended volumes to stretch it out.
Added Tremolo to both.
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Track 7 (Drum, short fill)
Loop, Real - Pop Sure Step Beat
Chopped a bit
Set to Drums -> Edgy Drums
Set to Overdrive, Amp Simulation, Equalizer to Bass Boost, Reverb at midpoint, very slight Echo
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Track 8 (Drums)
Loop, Software - Pop Let It Ride Beat
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Track 9 (Drums)
Loop, Software - Pop Disco Returns Beat
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Track 10 (Drum, hard hits at Chorus)
Software - Drum Kits -> Cavern Kit
(Ugh, i don't remember which key i hit!)
Overdrive, Equalizer to Big Drum, Reverb ALL the way up, very slight Echo
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Track 11 (MIDI Mosh - MuHaHaHaHa!)
Software - Guitars -> Mosh Pit
Added Tremolo, Reverb at 2/3, Equalizer to Hi-Fi
(Just banged out single notes on keyboard.)
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Tracks 12 thru 21 (Vocals)
Vocals -> Male Rock Vocals - Track Echo to Slap Back, Equalizer to Clear Vocals, Reverb pushed to about 40%
Vocals -> Ambient Vocals - No adjustments, just the straight Ambient Vocals effect (this effect has the Tremolo in it).
People have made positive comments about the piano, but it is actually the easiest playing i have done - just "Heart & Soul" type chords. Very simple bass line to play, too.
I did most of the tweaking with the drum sounds, as you can see, i used quite a lot of drums in this one. And a lot of playing around with the vocals to get a sort of "unglued," or "spilling," or "coming apart" sound, which i am not sure is successful.
From a Coffin
All are software instruments except for the vocals.
(I did not pan anything this time, except for the Cello and the vocals in one small part of the song, as i am in the midst of some confusion about it after not being able to hear the difference on something else i was working on.)
Church Bell (Mallets)
The main one i used, however, is with a generator called "big ben bell" from a plug-in that i can't figure out what it is... yikes!
Electric Slumber (Synth Pads)
Muted Electric Bass (Bass)
Grand Piano Punchy, with reverb pushed up midway
(Done on two tracks but not layered over.)
Fitch Cello, courtesy Claire Fitch
(I signed up at MacJams just to get this, haha!)
For first verse, just one track, not panned.
For second verse, two tracks, panned +32 and -32
(And now i realize i have been writing the pans down WRONG all along!)
Orchestra Cathedral Organ (Organs)
Drums: RnB Arabian Night Beat
Vocal Effect: Male Rock Vocals
For some of the vocals, pushed reverb up midway.
Panned left then right on the "don't go" after the "let me return" phrases.
Ven Aqui
Played acoustic-electric guitar, connected using the Boris Method. Recorded in mono, duplicated and copied track, panning one fully left and one fully right.
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Added chorus accents with same guitar, also duplicated, panning one track somewhat left and the other somewhat right.
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Added more accents with "tremor strings" on the keyboard. Also
panned left and right.
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Added even more accents with background vocals, which I'm afraid muddied the chorus (but, for the time, i'm too tired to fix that).
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All vocals done with "Female Rock Vocals" effect, panned about.
Update, November 8, 2005
I adjusted this song as follows:
Drums are centered and have higher volume. Xylophone now has a tremolo effect so that it moves around. Changed from orchestral strings to orchestra string ensemble.
October
Track 1 (Drums):
Real Instrument - Keyboard.
I created a loop from a waltz style on my keyboard.
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Tracks 2 thru 5 (Strings):
Software Instrument - Orchestral Strings;
Effects Used - Compressor, Equalizer, AUMatrixReverb, Echo, Reverb
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Tracks 6 thru 10 (Piano):
Real Instrument - Keyboard.
Effects Used - Equalizer, AUMatrixReverb, Echo, Reverb
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Tracks 11 thru 13 (Bass):
Software Instrument - Trance Bass;
Effects Used - Equalizer, Track Echo, Echo, Reverb
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Tracks 14 & 15 (Bass):
Software Instrument - Upright Jazz Bass;
Effects Used - Echo, Reverb
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Track 16 (Eerie Sound Effect):
Software Instrument - Aurora Bell (Mallets);
Effects Used - Equalizer, Tremolo, Echo, Reverb
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Tracks 17 & 18 (Shimmery Sparkle Sound):
Real Instrument - Keyboard;
Effects Used - Echo, Reverb
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Track 19 (Xylophone):
Real Instrument - Keyboard;
Effects Used - Echo Reverb
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Tracks 20 thru 29 (Vocals):
Real Instrument - Microphone;
Effects Used - Epic Diva and Ambient Vocals
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Tracks 30 thru 32 (Vocals):
Real Instrument - Microphone;
Effects Used - Epic Diva with Amp Simulation added
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Tracks 33 & 34 (Distorted Vocal):
Real Instrument - Microphone;
Effects Used - Pop Vocals with Distortion added (Distortion4)
Flower Song
Guitar, acoustic, strummed into built-in mic
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Guitar, acoustic, arpeggio-ed into built-in mic, dreamy shimmer effect added
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Drum loop, can't remember which, but came with GarageBand
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Bass, played on keyboard
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Vocals, sung
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Background vocals, yelped